who is the thief?

Someone we know is stealing from us (*not someone who works in our home). it is mostly little things: a huge bag full of avocados from our tree to sell at the market; cups of oil here and there when we're not around. adding to the price of things they buy for us to take a cut. a lot of little things adding up.

But I'm torn. 

who is the thief here?

In Isaiah 3: 14 the Bible says:

"The LORD enters into judgment against the elders and leaders of his people: "It is you who have ruined my vineyard; the plunder from the poor is in your houses."

I look around my house. I see our three computers. our ipad. 2 iphones. 2 kids "ipad"s. 2 DS. A trampoline. A pantry full of food filled to overflowing chaos. bins of extra clothes for the next season. closets full, full, full.

it all feels like evidence against me. and temptation and infuriating injustice to others. 

People are starving. Today people are selling their bodies and their children's bodies to make enough to feed their family. A woman felt it necessary to revoke her rights to one of her children somewhere (MANY PLACES!) in the world today because she doesn't have enough to feed them. 

where's the plunder? it is in MY house. the plunder of the poor is in MY house.

My husband, so tender and growing in wisdom. His response to finding out more about the story: "I found out _____ has been taking more things. avocados. oil. etc."

Hunter: (big sigh and achy voice). "oh ____ must be so desperate." (big sigh).

stealing isn't the answer and has to have consequences. but my hoarding and consumerism is somehow a connected issue in the equation. we belong to each other in the world. There are many injustices that happen in the world, for which we all (rightly!) demand justice. And as Christians, instead of vengeance we encourage one another to wait for the appointed time and the appointed judge (not us). 

Someone in the world--my neighbors here in Rwanda-- are waiting for me to receive justice for my hoarding and their starving. my plenty and their not enough.  

Back in the States my body ached and sometimes I limped along knowing that my house was full of treasures for here on earth, which moth and rust were destroying. and yet I kept them. and now I'm here, living the life some people wish they could because their passion draws them to it, and what are we doing? 

the plunder of the poor is still in my house.

mercy, LORD. that's the only way to you. I can't live closer to the poor and snuggle babies enough to clear my debt. we cannot use our vocation to do good enough to make our way to you. 

Not the labors of my hands can fulfill thy laws demands. Could my zeal no respite know. could my tears forever flow. all for sin could not atone, Thou must save and though alone.

I stand hand in hand, brothers with the bloody murderer asking for mercy from the LORD. I have sinned.

But He has saved me. Paid the penalty I deserved.

I want to live differently, not to earn God's favor or OUT OUT OUT damn spot wash my way from the guilt. but out of his generosity towards me (in every way) I now want to truly share. to truly consider others brothers and sisters, for whom I would give up anything. 

someone we know is stealing. and it is both of us. 

let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

Proverbs 30: 8
Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
    give me neither poverty nor riches,
    but give me only my daily bread.

(PS, you can pray for us. we do need to have some hard conversations with this person. our added sin of consumerism doesn't take away their guilt. but I do pray it softens us).