My grace resistant life
Don’t give it to me for free.
Not your friendship.
Not His grace.
I’ll earn it.
I’ll send enough emails.
Buy enough presents.
Wake up to run.
Stay up late to talk.
I might even try to buy your kids with gifts or fun.
Just don’t make me do nothing.
I’m not sure then that I’m lovable.
Let me inspire you.
buy for you.
write to you.
drive through the night for you.
stay up late and get
up early to try to be enough.
I’ll do whatever it takes.
It’s getting faster. It’s getting louder. It isn’t enough. I’m
addicted.
Out out damn spot!
I can’t keep it up.
Don’t let me cowardly jump like Javert, resistant to unmerited kindness.
and yet already I'm losing my soul trying to win the world.
Unweaned.
Resistant to grace.
in friendship. in Him.
Help me.
Save me.
Rest me.
grace me.
I quit.
I'll never be enough.
drink the cup, Jesus. you must.
give me grace. its the only way.
give me a quieted soul.
freedom.
amen. looks like you and i were having some similar thoughts at the same time (see my blog that i was writing at the same time!) - yours are just much more beautifully expressed!! i love this - and hate this - at the same time. love it because it is so true and expresses so perfectly how i feel as well and helps me understand it - and hate it because it is so true of me as well and i wish it were not. wish i could just stop. I LOVE YOU!!! and NOT because of anything you do/don't do - just because i love you :-).
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