some exciting news!

for our non-Facebook and Instagram friends:

Thrilled and thankful to announce that Thompson baby #4 will arrive in mid-May!

And there-in lie my apologies and excuses for being slow to respond to gracious and thoughtful emails. I'm counting on the second trimester bringing with it a resurgence of energy and health!

I'm made for more than this

I have a new friend, Innocent, who lives at Home of Hope. He cannot speak, cannot walk without significant help, and cannot feed himself. It is true: he cannot do almost anything to care for his own basic needs, and yet each time I’m with him he wordlessly communicates clearly to me one of the most important theological truths in this life: “I’m made for more than this.”

It is actually quite stubborn and sometimes exhausting. I’m not sure if I was there every day that my appreciation would remain. But today I’m listening and learning, and today I’m thankful for his reminder to me.

Almost every time I’ve had the opportunity to take Innocent out of the high chair in which he sits for so much of his day, and take him for a walk, his face lights up. He’s radiant. It is as if he is screaming with joy, “YES! Get me out of there! Let me try! I’m made for more than this!”

But inevitably, even if he is exhausted from a long, difficult walk, when you go to put him back in his seat-- *a seat made for babies for meal time not for sitting for a significantly large percentage of a day-- inevitably you try to put him back in and he puts up an ENORMOUS fight. He kicks and twists, he refuses to cooperate to put his feet into the vacant holes. It is as if he is screaming with his contorting body, “I’M MADE FOR MORE THAN THIS!”

And then the waiting for mealtime begins. With so many to feed who cannot feed themselves, the wait can be quite long sitting in that chair, and inevitably when I visit I hear a loud thud, thud, thud, thud. And I look over and there’s Innocent rocking his seat back and forth and back and forth, dangerously almost tipping himself out of the chair each time. But it is as if he’s rhythmically yelling with any means he has “get me out of this chair! I’M MADE FOR MORE THAN THIS!”

His body might be wasting away and he may only be able to do a small fraction of the things bodies were made to do, but he has not forgotten his dignity. He has not forgotten what he was built for. He is physically crying out “How Long?” He has not given up and resigned himself to a broken body in a broken world. He somehow has the wisdom to fight it every day.

Which brings me to us. Is that true of you? Do you believe you were made for more than this or have you grown content with this place as your home or forgotten how to call out “how long?” Dietrich Bonhoeffer once wrote: “We Christians need not be ashamed of showing a little impatience, longing and discontent with an unnatural fate.” Sometimes I think we’ve become confused and convinced ourselves to pursue contentment at the expense of pursuing redeemed lives and our world being made right. But those don’t have to be mutually exclusive. I agree with Bonhoeffer, I want to have eyes that see my brokenness and the world’s brokenness not just with fatalistic resignation and a shallow version of contentment but with faith and longing and fight and hope for the future.

I don’t think Innocent’s literal railing against his fate bothers the LORD. In fact I believe it defends His glory and the dignity with which He made man. It communicates that the power that raised Jesus from the dead is at work in the world and who are we to just quit? And when we fight for justice and when we join the LORD in his pursuit of healing in the midst of our broken lives, broken marriages, broken families, broken bodies, broken intimacy—which includes saying “WE WERE MADE FOR MORE THAN THIS!”-- I think we have the privilege of joining the brilliant theologian Innocent, and the host of saints before him who with great faith and respect for God cried out, “How Long? I was made for more than this!”

It is true: we might wait until the LORD returns for these things to be made right. And like Innocent, rocking unstably in our broken bodies acknowledging and even drawing attention to our pain and longings can be quite vulnerable. I feel that. But that feels like an honest option of faith and hope in the midst of living in a broken world. We have an option to wait with hope and expectation, trusting his power, his love and His promises, and that looks VERY different from waiting as people resigned to remain in a broken world. Less comfortable to be sure. But I think closer to how we're meant to live as we wait. 

And let's not forget, friends, he was actually raised from the dead and His power is at work in the world. He could breathe new life into you, into your body, into your marriage, into the world. It is what he is actively doing and pursuing. 

What parts of you are broken and you long to have made whole? How might your day and life look different if you actually let yourself imagine what the LORD intends for His people and live into participating in announcing “the Kingdom is at hand!” Where have you been submitted to an unholy acceptance instead of crying out “how long?” What were you made to rail against? What were you made to fight for, alongside the One who cares even more deeply than you?

      

*I have tremendous respect and gratitude for the work the women at the orphanage do. I might be wrong, but I don’t believe they would feel criticized by my longings for more for the kids. And I don’t believe they would argue that with their limited capacities currently they are unable to create an environment in which Innocent can thrive. I think they would agree: he was made for much more than this.